Making the bus monitor cry - Karen Klein

Like all of you I was mesmerized yesterday watching the bus monitor lady get verbally berated by a bunch of punks.  I watched the video and of course I wanted to rant and rave against these little shits, but could I really attack middle school kids? I decided to take the high road and avoid it completely.

Click here if you have not seen the video. 

Until this morning.

I watched the video again and I was just amazed at how Karen Klein sat there and took that assault.  Of course she couldn't bitch slap each of those kids or punch them in the throat (literally), but she could have at least defended herself. 

This is all in fun, so laugh because it's a joke...sort of.

Here's what I wish Karen Klein had said to those little fuckers:

Kid: Hey Karen, you're a fat ass.

Karen: Your dad doesn't complain about my fat ass when I sit on his face. Loser.

Kid: Where did you get that purse, Karen?

Karen: From your mother's closet, you little dumbass. She said you gave it to her for Mother's Day, but she hates you and your crappy gifts. You little Douche Canoe.

Kid: Where do you live, Karen? I want to go and pee on your door.

Karen: That'll be great. Let me know when you're coming so I can take some bath salts and eat your face off.  You ignorant troll.

Kid: I want to take a crap in your mouth, Karen.

Karen: You must have learned that from your mom, because she's always begging me to take a crap in HER mouth.  Butt face.

Kid: You're so sweaty, Karen.

Karen: Yeah, I'm sweaty. Because that's how your mom likes me to taste. Penis breath.

Kid: You're so poor, Karen.

Karen: Oh yeah? That video's going on Youtube tonight and I'm gonna make half a million dollars.  I'll be able to retire in style, but you will always be ugly and stupid.  There's no changing that.

This is terrible situation and everyone is outraged.  One good thing that has happened to Karen is that there was an incredible out pouring of support and even a donation page to send her on a vacation.  They were trying to raise $5,000, and guess what?  After this went viral, her donation page has raised almost $600,000.  Now she can retire in style and get away from puck ass kids like these.

http://www.indiegogo.com/loveforkarenhklein

PS. I hope this post finds its way to Karen so she can have a good laugh, while spending her money in her retirement.

How I became a great dad

If you don't know already, I am a great dad.  No, serious...I am.  I spend lots of time with my kids, I cook for them, I take them to school and even changed diapers and wipe butts.  I love my kids and I am very hands on in their lives.  I don't expect some sort of award, I know that is to be expected of any good parent.

This Father's Day, I wanted to write about why and how I became this father.  Looking back at my own life with my father, I can say with confidence that I am the dad I am today because of him.  Let me explain:

- I kiss my kids everyday and tell them I love them.

My dad is very traditional and reserved.  He rarely would show any sort of emotion, unless it was about something bad we did and then it usually involved some sort of belt or stick.  He has probably told me he "loves me" no more than about 15 times that I can remember.  I know that he loves me, but we rarely express to each other that we love each other.  Because of this, I try my best to show and tell my kids I love them each and everyday.  Do I regret that my dad did not show more emotion? Not at all.  I know that he loves me, and that is all I really need.  We all want better for our kids, so I kiss and hug my kids everyday and tell them how much I love them.

- I cook for my kids.

I love to cook and love to eat.  My dad used to be home more than my mom, so he would cook almost all the meals at my house.  He would make us lots of delicious meals everyday with all types of ingredients. If you have ever seen "Eat Drink Man Woman", my dad was close to the father in this movie.  He showed us his love through food and cooking.  I also love cooking, even if it is just heating up some hot dogs and getting the cheese balls out, I do it gladly and show my kids that I love them.

- I take my kids to school and activities.

Growing up, my parents were very busy with work and did not have a lot of money.  They were rarely around to take us to extra curricular activities.  Being an immigrant with a language barrier probably did not help them feel more comfortable taking us anywhere.  Now, I have the time and resources to take my kids to all of their various activities.  Even if it is boring and expensive, I still do it because I know my kids love it.

So, this Father's Day, I am very grateful to my dad for all my experiences.  Good and bad.  We are all a product of our upbringing.  Hopefully we can take the best and leave the worst of our childhood and be the best parents to our kids.

I want to say Thank you dad for being who you are, because of you, I am the great dad I am.

"Accept or Reject" - Art? or Not

I live in Johnson County, Kansas.  Overland Park, Kansas to be exact.  It is in the middle of the country.  It is very nice here.  Voted one of the best places to live in the country as ranked by CNN Money.  It is clean, affordable, good schools, little traffic, great shopping and very nice homes.  Sounds great, unless you are into art.

I grew up in NYC, probably the capital of snooty art, and culture.  I went to school in NYC.  I used to go to some of the best museums in the country.  I miss looking at cool, interesting, thought provoking art.  Here in Johnson County, our art consist of new model homes and the newest models of minivans and SUVs.  We are a community that likes to buys their art at the Ramada hotel when the starving artist sales comes to town.  We don't have a whole lot of art or culture here, or do we?

We have an Arboretum in Overland Park.  It is nice and very family friendly.  Recently they have placed some sculptures out in the gardens for all to enjoy.  You must be thinking, great, the outdoors, beautiful nature and beautiful art to look at.  What a great idea.  Let me show you what they put in.

Yes, it is a headless, bare breasted, undressed female form with awesome porn like exposed nipples taking a picture of herself.  The artist is trying to comment on how "This woman is choosing to take pictures of only part of herself, deleting her own identity."  Sounds good to me, it is very deep and serious, and I can appreciate that, but all I can focus on are the perfect erect nipples and boobs.

The piece is very controversial.  There are people who want it to be removed from the Arboretum because it offends them and their kids.  The art was donated to the city, so it was free.  I think the Arboretum has seen quite an uptick in admission once this went in.  I am sure it was mostly men and teenage boys, but that is fine.  Admission is admission.  By the way, it is free to get in, so it doesn't make any more money to have more people there.

Some parents are calling this obscene.  I don't agree.  I think it is art.  Is the art titillating?  It is definitely "tit"a lating.  Is it thought provoking?  Maybe.  Is it obscene?  I don't think so.  If we put two babies sucking on her breasts,  would that make it ok?  The artist wanted you to be shocked and to talk about the sculpture and I think this piece does exactly that.  Art is meant to challenge and provoke thought, not just be pretty and passive.

Is the Arboretum the best place for this?  Probably not.  But I would argue that it is the right place for it because it exposes the type of person that is never exposed to any sort of thought provoking art.  They go to the mall and buy the newest Dogs playing Poker painting and think that is high art.

Many people out there already think Kansas is filled with farmers trying to avoid tornadoes while gathered around a book burning bon fire singing hymns.  I hope they don't live up to all the stereotypes and remove this sculpture.  We may live out in the middle of the country with farms and cows and tornadoes, but now we also have a world class piece of art to argue over, and not every city in America can say that.

Zombie Apocalypse bullshit crazies

What is going on with this Zombie eating craziness?  Are you not aware that we are under attack by the Zombie Apocalypse?  Guy in Miami was attacked, his face was eaten off by another person and the police had to shoot him dead to stop him.  Maybe they had to chop off his head, but they did not talk about that.

There was the college student who ate his roomate.  Yes, this guy killed his roomate and ate his heart and brain.  This reads like some sort of joke, but it is all true.

Then, there was another incident in Canada, where the victim is a Chinese college student.  A crazy gay porn star Luka Rocca Magnotta has killed and eaten Chinese student Jun Lin.  This crazy mofo is still out there, the police and Interpol are looking for him, but have not captured this psycho.

I did not really believe in all the hype.  All the crazy zombie talk and marketing crap out there.  All the books, and movies...but I guess it is really here.  I wrote about the Japanese guy who served up his genitals and the sickos who ate them, but this is so much worse.  It is one thing to serve your left over parts to people and another for you to be chopped up and eaten for a snack.

Did someone say Zombie Apocalypse?  The CDC did.  They sent out a press release that officially denies any truth that there is a Zombie Apocalypse.  But ironically, they did make a graphic novel that talks about being prepared for a Zombie Apocalypse, and they said it was just for marketing and not real.  You can't put back the mother fucking zombie after you let it out.  It was just a joke they said, well tell that to the people who had their fucking face chewed off and their brain eaten.

There is one thing I know.  I will survive the Zombie Apocalypse just fine.  I will not be eaten because I am not organic.  I am not good eating or a healthy choice.  I am full of hot dogs and tater tots.  I eat all that processed crap that I buy in bulk from Sam's or Costco.  We all know that if you are going to eat human flesh, a nice healthy, organic person is who you want.  Someone who eats nothing but healthy organic fruits and vegetables and exercises on a regular basis to get that nice marbling of the muscle tone.  Not some sad, sickly, over processed piece of meat like me.  You make fun of me and judge me for eating all that processed crap, but now I will be the last one standing with my radioactive glow in the dark all processed, well perserved pickled intestines.