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Zombie Apocalypse bullshit crazies

What is going on with this Zombie eating craziness?  Are you not aware that we are under attack by the Zombie Apocalypse?  Guy in Miami was attacked, his face was eaten off by another person and the police had to shoot him dead to stop him.  Maybe they had to chop off his head, but they did not talk about that.

There was the college student who ate his roomate.  Yes, this guy killed his roomate and ate his heart and brain.  This reads like some sort of joke, but it is all true.

Then, there was another incident in Canada, where the victim is a Chinese college student.  A crazy gay porn star Luka Rocca Magnotta has killed and eaten Chinese student Jun Lin.  This crazy mofo is still out there, the police and Interpol are looking for him, but have not captured this psycho.

I did not really believe in all the hype.  All the crazy zombie talk and marketing crap out there.  All the books, and movies...but I guess it is really here.  I wrote about the Japanese guy who served up his genitals and the sickos who ate them, but this is so much worse.  It is one thing to serve your left over parts to people and another for you to be chopped up and eaten for a snack.


Did someone say Zombie Apocalypse?  The CDC did.  They sent out a press release that officially denies any truth that there is a Zombie Apocalypse.  But ironically, they did make a graphic novel that talks about being prepared for a Zombie Apocalypse, and they said it was just for marketing and not real.  You can't put back the mother fucking zombie after you let it out.  It was just a joke they said, well tell that to the people who had their fucking face chewed off and their brain eaten.

There is one thing I know.  I will survive the Zombie Apocalypse just fine.  I will not be eaten because I am not organic.  I am not good eating or a healthy choice.  I am full of hot dogs and tater tots.  I eat all that processed crap that I buy in bulk from Sam's or Costco.  We all know that if you are going to eat human flesh, a nice healthy, organic person is who you want.  Someone who eats nothing but healthy organic fruits and vegetables and exercises on a regular basis to get that nice marbling of the muscle tone.  Not some sad, sickly, over processed piece of meat like me.  You make fun of me and judge me for eating all that processed crap, but now I will be the last one standing with my radioactive glow in the dark all processed, well perserved pickled intestines.

12 comments:

  1. I am so glad I'm not the only one wondering what the fuck I'd going on. Craaaaaaaaazy!

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  2. Loving the blog..great addition to my daily entertainment!!

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  3. I'm not sure, but I think I might be screwed. Given my diet, I'm guessing I probably taste like fried food, cheese, and gravy. Do zombies like gravy?

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  4. One more reason to eat a tater tot!

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  5. Did you hear about the guy that stabbed himself in the stomach and threw his intestines at the police? Yeppp...NASTY!!

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  6. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/jersey-man-stabbed-threw-skin-intestines-cops-authorities-

    Sorry here is the link!

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  7. the ad at the top of the blogger app while I read this:

    "Better Than Bouillon.
    Premium Meat, Seafood and Veggie Good Bases. Taste the Difference!"

    love it!

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  8. You should check out runforyourlives.com

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  9. Don't forget the guy that threw his own bowels at the police. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/30/new-jersey-man-throws-intestines-at-cops-after-repeatedly-stabbing-himself/

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  10. There is an online class at Michigan State University to help you survive (already in session): http://socialwork.msu.edu/online_electives/?page_id=23

    Completely crazy!

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  11. I just came across this and thought of your post so I wanted to share!

    http://www.cracked.com/article_15643_5-scientific-reasons-zombie-apocalypse-could-actually-happen.html

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  12. The last paragraph was the last thing I needed to convince me to bookmark your blog. Well-played, Hubs.

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