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How to creep people out

It's all fun and games until the FBI shows up.  Then it's a felony.

I Love You

I guess no good deed goes unpunished.

Hate your daughter?

Now I know why so many people hate their mom clowns.

If I wrote a book

My wife wrote a book and I could have written this one.

Best advice ever

Dr. Ozzy has the best advice I have ever read.

Where to kiss a man

WTF, Matt. Are you dating the Pillsbury dough boy?

Yo Mama

Nothing beats milk squirting out of a kids nose.

Pay your ticket

I hate getting tickets, and this is awesome.  That is all.