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WTF, Urban Outfitters

WTF, Urban Outfitters?  You fucking hipster store.  You're making Christmas your bitch this year?

How incredibly subversive and cool you are.  You with your FUCK candle and your "Let's Fucking Reminisce" photo albums.   You guys are the coolest, hippest, most ironic store out there.

There are lots of people who are upset with your use of profanity in your products, but not me.  Fuck'em I say.  Those assholes don't know a fucking gold mine when they see it.  If these old fogie parents ever heard their kid speak with their fucking friends, they would understand that you are just giving them what they fucking want.  Yes, those fucking, hip, cool kids who have too much money on their hands.

Urban Outfitters, you are my hero because you are able to remove money from asshat hipsters and get them to pay $16 for a photo album made in Asia for about $.25.  Only your crack marketing team is able to compel idiots to give up $198 for a Polaroid Instant camera that is just a piece of shit digital camera made to look like the original, but does not function as an instant camera.  Pure fucking genius.

I'm worth $198, because I look ironic and cool.

Posers out there have a lot to learn from your marketing genius.  I think every store that wants to get some attention needs to throw the word "fuck" around and really start selling their overpriced shit.

I am going to start getting my $50 "Fucking Easter Eggs" ready for spring.


  1. Made me think about one of my favorite articles from The Onion: "Why Can't I Sell Any Of These Fucking Bibles?" Well worth searching on their website for.

  2. I'm going to sell my old Polaroid camera. Any takers? It's yours for $1,007.42, plus shipping.

  3. Spit out my water. I'll just pose the Elf suggestively and say he did it.

  4. Hipsters are annoying, but not as annoying as Urban Outfitters. Can't stand that store.