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5 Deadly Terms

I hear these words a lot.  Now I understand.

What is Stalking?

I don't like romance, so this does not affect me.

Let's Play Fetch

I think that dog would love to play fetch with herself.

Girl on Fire

I'm not a marketing genius, but I think Alicia would have sold some tubes.

7 Ways to Ask for Sex

1.  Would you like a back rub?

2.  Let's spend some "quality time" together.

3.  Kids are finally down for the night.  Are you ready to get "down" for the night?

4.  I cooked and cleaned and did the dishes. 

5. Don't you want to try some stuff from "50 shades?"

6.  Hey girl...tell me about all about that sale at Target.

7.  Here's my bonus check.  Why don't you "check out my bonus?"

Story Time is Over

I don't think we will get to hear the rest of the story.